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I Needed New Friends…

Making friends can be hard in midlife.

In our 30s and 40s, so many of us with kids found it easy to connect to other parents through our children’s pals. Our social circles formed naturally via our neighborhoods and our kids’ schools.

As our children left home in their later teen years, and their school friendships sometimes fell apart, now came the true test. Would our bonds with other parents survive?

On top of this, some of us moved to new cities or states, some of us went through divorces—and our friendship bonds were tested once more.

Whatever the circumstances, many of us found ourselves in need of new friendships, and especially new girlfriends.

This has been true for so many of my own friends and clients—and for me too! In addition to our daughters’ friendships changing, we also moved from the suburbs to the city of Chicago and now spend half the year in Sarasota.

While I’ve managed to retain a few good friends from my girls’ school years, I have definitely found myself yearning for new connections, ones relevant to who I am today (because I’m not who I was in my 30s and 40s!).

And I’m making developing those new friendships, one conversation at a time.

How? I’m saying yes to new opportunities (thanks Ann-Marie for introducing me to Anna!), I’m reaching out to interesting women (like other heart-centered coaches—I’m looking at you, Maria and Deborah), I’m deepening friendships with former clients (I just saw Laura for lunch last Friday!), I’m getting involved in local women’s organizations (LOVE The Transition Network), I’ve made a few new girlfriends in our Sarasota neighborhood (despite one of them being a Trump supporter 😱).

And what I’ve learned is that to make new friends takes effort and courage. But it’s worth getting out of my comfort zone and trying on new connections for the chance (no guarantees), to make a new girlfriend.

YOUR TURN: Are you in need of new girlfriends? What’s the first step YOU will take to initiate those connections?

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I’m Hélène Stelian, the Midlife Mentor with a passion for facilitating personal development in women 40+. Through my THRIVE Courses, I help introspective, curious, action-oriented women 40+ deepen their journeys of self-discovery and growth—and create their next chapter with courage and intention.

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