After three decades as a therapist, Ann chose to honor her midlife calling: helping women find and pursue their passions, through personal coaching and curated self-discovery adventures.
Tell us a little about your background…
I often say that the small Indiana town where I grew up was a scaled down version of the TV show Mad Men. My mother who had been a beauty queen in college struggled with many of the same issues as the character Betty Draper—anxiety, depression, deep-seeded anger, and an eating disorder. My strikingly handsome and entrepreneurial father, also named Dick like the Mad Men character, believed that you dealt with whatever bothered you by “putting on a good face” or doing some kind of physical labor. Unlike Sally Draper, the daughter on the TV show, I was not rebellious and held much inside while getting straight A’s and winning awards in 4-H at the state fair.
The combination of constant high expectations, lack of emotional support, and the use of shame as a motivator became too much. One day I felt I was going to die. I had horrible pains in my stomach, I couldn’t breathe right and I was shaking all over. But instead of telling my mother, I called the family doctor (incidentally, he and his wife ran in the same social circles as my parents) and told the receptionist I needed to meet discreetly with the doctor. I rode my bike to his office, parked behind the building where no one could see, went in the back door to his private office and, sobbing the whole time, confided that my situation was more than I could cope with. Of course back then, he had nothing to offer—no counseling or antidepressants—but he let me cry, and he listened. That’s the moment I decided to become a therapist. I never wanted anyone else to feel so hurt, scared, and alone.
Speaking at the PMH Celebration of Hope & Heroes, 2011
I graduated from Indiana University, where I had trained as an Occupational Therapist, (OT) specializing in mental health and where I met my husband, Dan. For the next 29 years, I worked as a therapist and then administrator in acute care psychiatry. I also have over 20 years of extensive leadership experience as an educator and administrator in inpatient and outpatient mental health. In 2007, I co-founded a nonprofit organization, The Partnership for Mental Health, Inc (PMH). For the past 8 years, I have served as president of this organization, leading this collaborative of more than 30 organizations from the Southwest Ohio and Northern Kentucky region; we coordinate efforts to educate our communities and reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness, as well as increasing awareness and understanding of suicide prevention.
In the 1980s, I created the Cincinnati Perpetrator Treatment Network to increase the collaboration between courts and treatment providers around the treatment of sexual abuse; the goal is to ensure community safety via the use of evidence-based treatment for offenders. I have served on various advisory boards including, but not limited to, the Southwest Ohio Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I presently serve on the transitional board of the Tristate Trauma Network, an organization dedicated to creating a community-wide commitment to the prevention and recovery from trauma and toxic stress in the Southwest Ohio, Southern Indiana, and Northern Kentucky region.
With my husband, Dan
When did you start thinking about making a change?
Shari and I as young girls
Throughout our adult lives, my best friend Shari—I’ve known her since I was four—and I have gone on what we call WW’s (Women’s Weekends/Weeks). These getaways helped us manage the demands of our busy lives by allowing us to recharge our batteries, connect with one another, and reconnect with the truest version of ourselves. We came back stronger and better women, as well as better (and happier) spouses, mothers, employees, neighbors, and community members.
During one of these getaways—in December 2011, when we were celebrating my 49th birthday—Shari and I began talking about how we wished to share this experience with other women, to create trips that would allow them to feel all the joy we do from friendship and travel.
The year we both turned 50, we went on a trip to Europe. While there, Shari and I talked more about the idea of travel with women. We were both reading a book by Martha Beck, a Harvard professor turned life coach (and made famous by Oprah). We both fully related to her holistic approach and concepts of Wordlessness and Oneness. I couldn’t put her book down, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want
Shari and I traveling in Europe
When were you finally able to start your business?
After losing both my parents within a four-month period and finding myself increasingly drained and disheartened in my job—I was an administrator over acute care psychiatric programs and had had a particularly long and stressful week—I made the decision to resign from my position of 29 years and build my company. I had researched Martha Beck’s Life Coaching Training program but couldn’t afford it. Then I received an email from my brother telling me that we kids would be receiving some money from my parents’ estate. It was just the right amount for the program.
The morning I was driving into work to resign, I started having second thoughts. Then the most incredible thing happened. At that very moment, Tony Orlando’s “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” came on—a song my dad and I had danced to since I was 11 years old. I started crying because I missed my dad and because I felt this was a sign. Still, I said aloud, “Ok dad, if this is really you, and you are telling me I’m doing the right thing, I want to see a REAL yellow ribbon.” Less than a mile away, I saw a five-foot yellow ribbon on the side of the road. And on the next block, there was a yard with a bunch of little stakes with yellow ribbons. I sobbed so hard that I had to pull my car over. I went in, resigned, and never looked back.
With my dad 10 days before he died
While in the middle of Martha Beck’s training, I learned that Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
What is your next act?
I started Wayfinding Women, LLC, in April 2014, at the age of 51. Wayfinding Women is dedicated to empowering individuals to self-actualize, live their best life, and positively impact their world. We do this by creating unique and joyful experiences as well as facilitating authentic connections among women.
I coach individual women, helping them over the rough spots we all experience so they can reach their pinnacle. These are typically strong professional women who have been thrown off their path by some kind of transition or event and are seeking to regain their power. I also work with women who realize that they have not ever fully stood in their power or are uncertain about their purpose and wish to find these for themselves.
Can you tell us more about the women you have worked with?
I’ve worked with several women in the past year who have had major career transitions, being laid off or fired. They are highly invested, passionate, talented women who have given much of their lives to these organizations and then feel very lost when that leader identity is no longer there—when they aren’t running the show and sharing their amazing gifts with the world.
These clients were struggling to figure out, “Who am I now?” and “What is my worth or value without this job?” First, I helped them to grieve their loss. Then, we examined their painful or limiting beliefs about their self-worth and what their future would hold. I taught them how to recognize when their thoughts were not necessarily true or helpful and how they had the power to change their story. Instead of viewing themselves as a victim, they could find and stand confidently in their truth. I gave them techniques to use when they had anxiety around money or the future and kept them away from the “lack” mentality which made them want to run out and apply for any job that would take them. Instead, I helped them imagine and create what they really wanted next. When they were able to relax in their own wisdom and personal power, they were able to begin designing the future they wanted.
These women have since designed lives that are purposeful, satisfying and allow them to have a more balanced life and to do those things that are most important to them. For example, one has gone on to become a consultant and has gained control over her personal and professional life; she enjoys setting her own schedule and being able to spend more time with friends and family. Another has given herself permission to concentrate on being with a family member who is seriously ill, instead of pressuring herself to fight her way back into the corporate world. She is in the dreaming and scheming phase of finding her own next best act.
What trips do you have in the works?
I have several national and international events, workshops, and retreats planned for women who are yearning to connect and explore concerns and ideas in a safe, small group environment that is supportive, and judgment-free. I plan four international retreats yearly, which are designed for women to relax, renew, and experience standing in their own power as the heroines of their own life.
This fall’s retreat in Italy is the inaugural trip for Wayfinding Women and is focused on women who are facing midlife transitions. My trips provide an opportunity for exploring and learning experientially. Instead of holding “classes,” I provide prompts and activities that foster personal expansion and exploration as we are engaging in travel.
The retreats are a balance of relaxation and reflection (journal, draw, walk, nap) combined with structured discussions and experiences (such as experimenting in a variety of mindfulness practices or learning techniques for imagining and creating their ideal life) and planned excursions (tastings at vineyards and cheese farms, touring unique historical sights, shopping local markets, meeting and mingling with locals). The evenings we return to our private villa or visit a unique restaurant and, while we enjoy a Tuscan meal prepared specially for us, we relax, drink Italian wine, and discuss our experiences and discoveries.
I do extensive research to plan the trips and make it a priority to work with locals in order to provide the best, most unique experience for my clients. One of my goals is to connect women on my trips with like-minded women wherever we are. With the Tuscany trip, our group will be meeting up with women native to Florence and Tuscany for dinner and “Girls’ Night Out”. I am all about authentic connection and know that there is no replacement for the face-to-face, soul connection we all need.
Every woman has her own agenda for what she hopes for while on the retreat; I meet with each individually during the tour to talk about how this is going and follow up a month after the retreat to assist with any barriers or challenges they’ve found since returning home. At least two women going on the Italy trip this fall are looking to change their career path. Another is preparing to leave a high-powered lifelong career and recreate her identity.
I’ve found from past experiences that when we are able to remove ourselves from our everyday exper